I’m finally ready to post my monologue video. Self awareness is brutal. I was/am very unhappy with my performance, the way I looked on video, the way I sounded, you name it I hated it…….yada, yada, yada. “Everyone” says this is normal. At the first viewing party in my theatre class my entire body was hot with embarrassment. So much so, that I know everyone could see (and feel) the heat radiating from my brown skin. We all extended our warm ‘you did really good‘ catch all phrases to each other but I felt like I wanted to go and hide under a rock. I cannot bear to watch myself on screen! (Yet, I love the process and the engagement it offers!) Are we our own worst critics?
I’ll spare you my other personal grievances about why it’s not my best rendition. (Of course, all the times I rehearsed this piece away from the camera were pretty dang good! Seriously. Ya’ll I’d really nailed this piece in rehearsals! Don’t you hate when that happens?) Instead, I’ll focus on what I learned:
- Practice, Practice, Practice
- Break the walls around you and explore the space you have to create
- I’m still learning & getting used to my voice, my facial expressions and that’s OK.
- Practice, Practice, Practice
- I need to work on consistency. How can I evoke that same body quivering (transcendent!) feeling I had a few times while practicing this piece in class with others when it really matters and Every time I do this or any piece?
- There will always be environmental factors. Accept it.
- I still have yet to accept the concept of a ‘Rough Draft’.
- Almost Doesn’t Count
- The first words uttered are important to a strong deliverance.
In any event, and against my present judgment, I have uploaded my rendition of Steve Martin’s Patter for the Floating Lady…. Constructive Feedback is Welcome…..Be Gentle.
