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		<title>Self Conscious&#8230;World Premiere</title>
		<link>http://www.12to28.com/2008/12/self-consciousworld-premiere/</link>
		<comments>http://www.12to28.com/2008/12/self-consciousworld-premiere/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:53:16 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.12to28.com/?p=154</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m finally ready to post my monologue video.  Self awareness is brutal. I was/am very unhappy with my performance, the way I looked on video, the way I sounded, you name it I hated it&#8230;&#8230;.yada, yada, yada.  &#8220;Everyone&#8221; says this is normal. At the first viewing party in my theatre class my entire body was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m finally ready to post my monologue video.  Self awareness is brutal. I was/am very unhappy with my performance, the way I looked on video, the way I sounded, you name it I hated it&#8230;&#8230;.yada, yada, yada.  &#8220;Everyone&#8221; says this is normal. At the first viewing party in my theatre class my entire body was hot with embarrassment. So much so, that I know everyone could see (and feel) the heat radiating from my brown skin. We all extended our warm &#8216;<em>you did really good</em>&#8216; catch all phrases to each other but I felt like I wanted to go and hide under a rock.  I cannot bear to watch myself on screen! (Yet, I love the process and the engagement it offers!) Are we our own worst critics?</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll spare you my other personal grievances about why it&#8217;s not my best rendition. (Of course, all the times I rehearsed this piece away from the camera were pretty dang good! Seriously. Ya&#8217;ll I&#8217;d <em>really nailed</em> this piece in rehearsals! Don&#8217;t you hate when that happens?)  Instead, I&#8217;ll focus on what I learned:</p>
<ul>
<li>Practice, Practice, Practice</li>
<li>Break the walls around you and explore the space you have to create</li>
<li>I&#8217;m still learning &amp; getting used to my voice, my facial expressions and that&#8217;s OK.</li>
<li>Practice, Practice, Practice</li>
<li>I need to work on consistency. How can I evoke that same body quivering (<em>transcendent</em>!) feeling I had a few times while practicing this piece in class with others when it really matters and <em>Every time </em>I do this or any piece?</li>
<li>There will always be environmental factors. Accept it.</li>
<li>I still have yet to accept the concept of a &#8216;Rough Draft&#8217;.</li>
<li>Almost Doesn&#8217;t Count</li>
<li>The first words uttered are important to a strong deliverance.</li>
</ul>
<p>In any event, and against my present judgment,  I have uploaded my rendition of Steve Martin&#8217;s <em>Patter for the Floating Lady</em>&#8230;. Constructive Feedback is Welcome&#8230;..Be Gentle.</p>
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